As I mentioned previously, I attended the SAA International Convention this summer. It was amazing. The workshops were great, the trip there with several good friends was incredible, and the friendships formed there are beginning to take root.
I love being with sex addicts in recovery. At the convention (my second), I felt like I was surrounded by very emotionally and spiritually mature individuals. The atmosphere is akin to a spiritual retreat. I cannot say enough good things about the experience.
I am still sober and still working my recovery program. Step 8 has been difficult to work through and I'm working on writing out my outline for step 9, to see what my amends will look like. There are many individuals that I have harmed in my addiction. Some of the individuals that I have harmed deepest I may never be able to make an amends to; or I may spend the rest of my life making amends to. But that is part of recovery. I am taking responsibility for my actions and recognizing how I've affected those around me. And as much as it hurts to look at those hurts I've inflicted; it is freeing to finally own up to them.
I'm not hiding anymore. I'm coming out of the shadows of fear and shame into the light of personal responsibility and integrity.
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