I'm working through the excercises in Maltz's book, "The Porn Trap." Although the book focuses on pornography use, I find it helpful with all of my sexually addictive behaviors.
Chapter 7 is focused on becoming self-motivated to quit pornography. It's closely related to the work we do in step one: recognizing the negative consequences of sexual addiction in our lives. But Maltz's excercises ask you to contrast these effects with your own goals, values, and morals. This is sort of like combining steps 1 and 7, in my mind. Sort of, but not really. But I like it.
Anyway, it's been a great excercise so far and is still in progress. If you'd like to see my work in progress, here it is: Getting Motivated to Quit Using Sexually Addictive Behaviors
Monday, July 20, 2009
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9 comments:
Hi Ken! I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate your blog. I'm the ex-SO of a sex addict, and it's very helpful to me to see the blog of an SA who is DEVOTED to recovery, and what that looks like. So thank you, and god bless.
Glad to see you're back, Ken! Thanks for sharing that exercise. As you already know, I loved that Maltz book--it really is the best book on porn addiction out there.
Welcome back, Ken.
I'm adding in a quote from my last blog post. It's about Bowser's current turn point on how he thinks of lust and porn. Perhaps it will hit a note with your current recovery steps as well.
....This morning Bowser and I were talking about his latest group meeting, escapism, and some recovery reading he was doing last night from a book called God, I Have Issues: 50 ways to pray no matter how you feel. He found the following passage incredibly profound. The gist of it is something I've been trying to tell him for years, but the way Pope John Paul II put it hit him in a way and at a time that could only happen now.
The author, Mark E. Thibodeaux, writes the following:
In The Theology of the Body Pope John Paul II has said that the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much but that it shows too little. The problem is that they show only a tiny part of all that is wonderful about the person in the picture, and even that one aspect is distorted because it is out of the context of the beauty of the whole person. Lust, then, is a sin not because we look too much at another person, but because we don't look well enough. In prayer I might hear God saying to me, "If you think her body is nice, wait until you see what I see in her?" To pray about lust, then, is to ask the Lord to restore the whole picture of the person.
Keep on Keeping On.
Hi Ken,
It's great to see how dedicated you are towards your goals. I'm Hua, the director of Wellsphere's HealthBlogger Network, a network of over 2,000 of the best health writers on the web (including doctors, nurses, healthy living professionals, and expert patients). I think your blog would be a great addition to the Network, and I'd like to invite you to learn more about it and apply to join at http://www.wellsphere.com/health-blogger. Once approved by our Chief Medical Officer, your posts will be republished on Wellsphere where they will be available to over 5 million monthly visitors who come to the site looking for health information and support. There’s no cost and no extra work for you! The HealthBlogger page (http://www.wellsphere.com/health-blogger) provides details about participation, but if you have any questions please feel free to email me at hua@wellsphere.com.
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I'll have to check out the book, Ken. I put a lot of faith in yours and Margaux's recommendations. I looked through your progress doc and I like the way it helps you focus on the positive, the things you want to be and do, rather than just the thing you want to stop doing. I think this is a piece I haven't really done enough of.
Ken,
I really loved this exercise and, in fact, used it in some step work I was doing today.
Hope all is well.
Hi Ken, glad you are posting again. As the wife of a Sex Addict I am always interested in how other addicts manage to overcome their problem. My husband has been completely sober, even from yellow light behaviors, for over 2 years. Before that he was addicted to prostitutes to the tune of over $1,000.00 a month, seeing them 3 to 5 times a week. He goes to at least two 12 step meetings a month and still goes to counseling once a week. He feels that you cannot get sober unless you get to the root of your problem which, he says was his anger over his childhood abandonment and abuse.
What do you think? And, would you like to visit my website http://marriedtoasexaddict.com? I would really appreciate your comments on some of my posts. It is always good to get opinions and feedback from the other side.
Take care and good luck in your journey. If you want to recover you can.
Great article. We have recently formed a not for profit called SA Lifeline that focuses on Sexual / Pornography addiction education and instruction. As part of our launch we have teamed up with a leading Neurologist that has done extensive research on this topic. He also completed a book about pornography addiction that dives into its impact on the brain. Please take a look at the write up on the book and let us know you think. If you do decide to order a book, 100% of the proceeds from the book are going to spread this message. To date we have given away over 500 books to local religious, civic, and business leaders in our immediate community.
http://salifeline.org/he-restoreth-my-soul-by-donald-l-hilton-jr-md/
Thank you for this post. Keep on writing and recovering. It is people like you that help others to recover.
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